Hello everyone! I hope everyone’s 2017 is treating them well so far. March was busy but good, one of the highlights was completing the Anthem 5K in Louisville. I’ve completed this race before but it felt different this time. I ran more in this race than I ever did in my training sessions and it felt good and empowering. I honestly wish that I could do it again and so I’m going to keep an eye out for another one in the fall.
This morning was the first time I stepped on the scale in over a month. It didn’t seem like my weight was budging and I thought it might be a good idea to skip the scale for a bit. I stepped on the scale and I saw a number I hadn’t seen since August ’14 — the 240s. I assumed I didn’t have all my weight on the scale and stepped on it again and it gave me the exact same number.
Y’all don’t even realize how happy that made me. When I first began “doing better” last spring it was a really dark time for me. I was nearing 300lbs, I had constant back pain and was developing sciatic pain. I was severely depressed and disappointed in myself. What I’m feeling today is a complete 180 from that time. I have back pain from time to time but it’s not as debilitating as before, and I find I only experience it when I’m not active or do something stupid. Along with medication and exercise I haven’t experienced depression like before — thank god.
My big weight goal is to hit 240 and I’m close. 240 is where I first began in 2011 when I lost weight initially. It’s not going to be a walk in the park but I feel like when I hit 240 it’s going to be easier to keep the motivation. For now, here’s a super addicting song to workout to! Enjoy and feel free to share anything you’re digging at the moment.
It’s been almost two years since I’ve written here, and to say I’ve been off the wagon would be an understatement. Life happens as it does, and unfortunately I didn’t make eating well and exercising a priority. As a result, I’ve put on about 80 lbs from my lightest, which is a new highest for me. 80lbs extra isn’t good for anyone, especially someone with a 5’3 frame. I know it’s going to be a long road for me because I didn’t put this on overnight but I’ve got to do this now.
I’ve been thinking about the topic of health for a few months now. It began when I started weaning myself off of anti-depressants — with my doctor’s approval of course. I felt that my depression and anxiety was situational and due to college, and I didn’t like the zombie it was turning me into. I’m to the point now where I’m only taking medication once a week. It’s been 3 months and it has been hell getting to this point. When times are bad they get really dark, and I find myself wondering if this was a dumb experiment. Then there are the good days when I feel alive and happy once again.
This week started out with me weighing myself, because I didn’t feel like a sad piece of shit enough. LOL. I had my cry and reached out to a therapist who focuses on depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Cory and I ended up going out for a walk once I felt better. I am so thankful I have a partner I can talk to, and isn’t like Oh, she’s in one of her moods… I’ll let her be until she’s in a better mood.
This week has been a really good week as far as food and exercising. I’m trying my hardest not to jump in completely and become obsessed. I spent Monday putting the food I ate into MyFitnessPal just to see if I still felt anxiety when it came to calorie counting. I set it up so that my goal was to lose .5lb this week. It’s not much but I didn’t want to cut my calories drastically and set myself up for failure. My intent was just to do a couple days this week just to see how it went. One day turned into two, two days turned into the whole week without me realizing it! I was under all but one day this week and I lost a little over 7lbs as of today. I felt full this week and I didn’t feel like I was giving up anything I really wanted. Last night I even had ice cream as a treat. I don’t expect a huge number next week, I may even gain, but I’ve got to continue to try. This week I’ve felt pretty motivated and energetic. The latter is something I’ve not felt in a very long time and definitely motivation to keep going.
Thankfully there were paved trails!
I leave you with some inspiration… A few years ago, my friend Tim shared the following video and it has always stuck with me. Ben’s story reminds me of myself and how I first began working on my fitness and it makes me cry every damn time. What you don’t see in this video is he eventually gains 150 lbs back. He has since lost weight, and he’s currently walking across America (L.A. to Boston) and documenting it online. He’s my inspiration!
To find out more about Ben, visit his blog and Instagram: @bendoeslife
I’ve spent a long time avoiding calorie counting, just the mere thought about the task gave me lots of anxiety. When I’d actually commit to it I’d binge after a day or two and give up. Even when I lost weight at the end of 2011/2012 I never counted a single calorie. That being said, I did mentally keep an eye on what I was eating and was eating much healthier and less than I had in the past.
I’m happy to report I’ve had a few successful days logging food on myfitnesspal. I’ve lasted longer than I have in the past, and that gives me hope that I can stick with it. I think I’ve enjoyed logging workouts most because that means I have extra calories at the end of the day that I can save, or if I’m still feeling hungry I can have a little something extra and still be under my goal. Thankfully, at the moment I don’t really feel like I’m missing out on any foods even though I do feel really ravenous today. I’m still trying to figure out a good combination for breakfast (and other meals for that matter) that will leave me full for a while without eating up a lot of my calories for the day.
As I was eating out the other day, I thought it might be a good idea to start posting meals that are health-friendly. Hopefully you’ll get some ideas for yourself and I’ll have more to add in the future.
Naked taco salad ~470 calories / ~340 without guacamole | Around $10 with a drink
with grilled chicken, lettuce, black bean & corn salsa, pico de gallo, salsa verde, grilled veggies, and guacamole
I ate at Qdoba for lunch Tuesday (in addition to last Thursday heh) and as much as I wanted a burrito, I found a way to still get what I like but I made it healthier. I got the naked taco salad with the ingredients mentioned above. You can save about 130 calories by leaving off the guacamole. During both visits I didn’t finish the entire thing and I stayed full for a decent amount of time, but I did need a snack a couple of hours later.
Choose 2 : Savannah chopped salad (210 cal) + fire roasted veggie soup (60 cal) ~270 calories | around $9 with a drink
Looking at McAlister’s menu is pretty depressing when you’re trying to be good. I didn’t realize how many calories are in everything; even getting 1/2 portions was still pretty shocking. I’ve had the savannah chopped salad before and it was OK; as OK as a salad can be and I got a cup of their vegetable soup. I was able to finish both items and I was pretty full afterward. It seemed to stay with me longer than Qdoba did but I prefer the taste of Qdoba.
Hopefully these will give you some ideas. Until next time…