Hello everyone! I hope everyone’s 2017 is treating them well so far. March was busy but good, one of the highlights was completing the Anthem 5K in Louisville. I’ve completed this race before but it felt different this time. I ran more in this race than I ever did in my training sessions and it felt good and empowering. I honestly wish that I could do it again and so I’m going to keep an eye out for another one in the fall.
This morning was the first time I stepped on the scale in over a month. It didn’t seem like my weight was budging and I thought it might be a good idea to skip the scale for a bit. I stepped on the scale and I saw a number I hadn’t seen since August ’14 — the 240s. I assumed I didn’t have all my weight on the scale and stepped on it again and it gave me the exact same number.
Y’all don’t even realize how happy that made me. When I first began “doing better” last spring it was a really dark time for me. I was nearing 300lbs, I had constant back pain and was developing sciatic pain. I was severely depressed and disappointed in myself. What I’m feeling today is a complete 180 from that time. I have back pain from time to time but it’s not as debilitating as before, and I find I only experience it when I’m not active or do something stupid. Along with medication and exercise I haven’t experienced depression like before — thank god.
My big weight goal is to hit 240 and I’m close. 240 is where I first began in 2011 when I lost weight initially. It’s not going to be a walk in the park but I feel like when I hit 240 it’s going to be easier to keep the motivation. For now, here’s a super addicting song to workout to! Enjoy and feel free to share anything you’re digging at the moment.
This week was pretty good and it certainly helped hitting this goal. I don’t feel like I can notice a difference in my body or how things are fitting, and I certainly don’t expect anyone else to notice. I have noticed my mental health is better since I’ve started exercising and watching what I ate a few weeks back. I’m not saying those two things cure depression and anxiety because I know they’ve never worked for me by themselves. They help for a while but the underlying issues always come out. While I am still on anti-depressants, I am only taking them when I start to feel anxious. Typically it’s once a week but I was able to go about two days longer than normal this week, which I am happy about. Taking it once seems to curb the feeling without making me feel numb. The end game is to get off of them so long as things continue to improve.
Things I’m (re)learning:
What’s working for me:
I haven’t been utilizing a gym because the weather has been cool enough to walk and I have TRX for strength training. Typically, I prefer to be outside rather than in a gym anyway. I also prefer to take multiple leisurely walks (15-30 minutes) as opposed to one really hard walk.
Fitness professionals: is this wrong? I’m trying to figure out the way I can keep up with this long-term and this seems to work best for my schedule. Doing it this way gives me energy and keeps me motivated throughout the day.
Sometimes you have to listen to your body and rest
I typically stay the night at my parents one night a week to break up my commute during the week and visit my family. I went down with the intention of walking on the farm for a bit and instead I napped on the couch for 3 hours. I felt guilty because I didn’t walk but I clearly needed the rest.
In case you’ve been living under a rock during the past week, you have to listen to ^^ this ^^ new single from Justin Timberlake! It’s a super fun song and makes you dance, dance, dance when you listen to it, and this week is worth celebrating!
I also put together a short playlist (~30 minutes) if you’re interested in using the next time you’re working out.
**If you can’t view this on your mobile device, click here.
It’s no secret that I’ve been off the wagon for about a year now. The weight has slowly crept up, and at the time I was dealing with a lot of other emotions, such as anxiety and depression. Needless to say, working out and eating healthy was far from my first priority with school and everything else.
Today as I was getting ready for work, I realized my usual pair of khakis was in the wash and I had to face the truth. I put on a pair of Dickies’ that are a size 18, they weren’t exactly loose when I bought them, and they have zero stretch to them. As I pulled them up to my hips, I realized just how much weight I’ve put back on. I inhaled and sucked in long enough to get them zipped and reluctantly buttoned. I found a loose blouse I could wear so no one could see my body protruding over my pants. At least I hope they couldn’t.
I’ve made a point to not weigh myself recently and I know it’s not good to avoid the scale when you’re not exercising and eating poorly. I know. I should’ve weighed myself when we got back from Europe, because we walked anywhere from 15-23K steps a day even on days we spent the airport. I know I lost some weight on vacation. Even as we were coming back, my thought was: I’ve got a good start, focus on getting over 10-12K steps a day. If I lived in Europe, that wouldn’t be a problem. Living in Kentucky, I can’t get that just by commuting. I actually have to do some work if I want to get the recommended 10K steps.
Sure, I could make more excuses as to why I’ve put on weight or how hard it is to get start over again. It is hard as hell to start over yet again. Unfortunately, my excuses don’t burn any calories. Even if it’s hot out, I have a gym membership that I’m paying for every month; I have workout videos if I don’t feel like driving. I need to own this weight I’ve put on and quit talking about the fact it’s there and do something about it.
I’m not going to make some sort of sweeping declaration like I’m going to do x, y, and z, because I will set myself up for disappointment changing too many things at once. I’m just going to try moving more at the moment to get my body back in the habit. Typically when I exercise, I tend to eat better and eat less bad stuff without even trying. We shall see how this goes…
Cory and I celebrated our two year anniversary this past weekend and it has me thinking about goals. Both of us know we have put on weight since we started dating and neither of us are thrilled about it. We both can do better…
We went to Indianapolis on Memorial Day and we had a stranger take our photo in front of the LOVE sculpture at the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I didn’t look at the photos at the time, in fact, it wasn’t until the following day that I looked at them. I’m realizing I’ve been avoiding any type of full length mirror since gaining weight. I guess my justification is if I can’t see it, it didn’t happen. Boy, was I in for a shock when I saw those photos! I promised myself I’d never let myself get back to that unhappy 240 pound girl, and I’m almost back there. Granted, I’m not that unhappy, well until I saw those photos. I did let myself get back there.
I’m not really ready to publish my goals or that photo until I’ve solidified what I’ll be doing. It always seems like I have these grand plans and no follow through on them. I think I try to do too much all at once and then when it doesn’t work I give up instead of altering the plan. I do know I want to blog more. I do miss it and it was a way for me to stay on the right path. If I had a bad week, I wrote about it, and moved on. It kept me honest which is what I need.