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Pam

Day to Day Getting Started Playlists

Things I’m (re)learning + Spotify playlist

I'm down 10 lbs! :D

Carlton Dance GIF

This week was pretty good and it certainly helped hitting this goal. I don’t feel like I can notice a difference in my body or how things are fitting, and I certainly don’t expect anyone else to notice. I have noticed my mental health is better since I’ve started exercising and watching what I ate a few weeks back. I’m not saying those two things cure depression and anxiety because I know they’ve never worked for me by themselves. They help for a while but the underlying issues always come out. While I am still on anti-depressants, I am only taking them when I start to feel anxious. Typically it’s once a week but I was able to go about two days longer than normal this week, which I am happy about. Taking it once seems to curb the feeling without making me feel numb. The end game is to get off of them so long as things continue to improve.

Things I’m (re)learning:

What’s working for me:
I haven’t been utilizing a gym because the weather has been cool enough to walk and I have TRX for strength training. Typically, I prefer to be outside rather than in a gym anyway. I also prefer to take multiple leisurely walks (15-30 minutes) as opposed to one really hard walk.

Fitness professionals: is this wrong? I’m trying to figure out the way I can keep up with this long-term and this seems to work best for my schedule. Doing it this way gives me energy and keeps me motivated throughout the day.

Sometimes you have to listen to your body and rest
I typically stay the night at my parents one night a week to break up my commute during the week and visit my family. I went down with the intention of walking on the farm for a bit and instead I napped on the couch for 3 hours. I felt guilty because I didn’t walk but I clearly needed the rest.


In case you’ve been living under a rock during the past week, you have to listen to ^^ this ^^ new single from Justin Timberlake! It’s a super fun song and makes you dance, dance, dance when you listen to it, and this week is worth celebrating!

I also put together a short playlist (~30 minutes) if you’re interested in using the next time you’re working out.

**If you can’t view this on your mobile device, click here.

WOTD

WotD: Charlestown State Park

For the past couple of months I’ve been wanting to visit Charlestown State Park, and this weekend seemed like the perfect time to visit. The park is about 30 minutes from our apartment so it kinda felt like a mini-trip which was nice.

Both of us aren’t in the best of shape and so we opted for the easiest trail, which was Trail 7. However, to get to trail 7, you also have to do about 1/2 mile of Trail 3. Trail 3 was labeled as a moderate trail. I never know what that really means because it seems subjective. It didn’t look that bad on the map, it’s just 1/2 mile. It’ll be fine.

Charlestown State Park Map

Off we go!Off we go!

This isn't so bad!
See? This isn’t so bad!

We were happily surprised that this trail was paved especially given the rain we’ve had recently. We were also beginning to notice this trail is down hill, and all we can see ahead of us is down hill. This is fine for now but we jokingly said it was going to suck coming back. I personally didn’t think much more about it because I was too busy snapping photos.

Nature is so pretty!
Nature is so pretty!

Trail 7 was definitely worth the trip because there’s so many pretty things once we got there. These are just a couple photos.

Nature is so pretty!

Cory
This was my favorite picture from the hike!

As we came back around to where we began Trail 7, we could either finish Trail 3, or go back the way we came. We were already feeling the results of going down hill for about 1/2 mile and so we opted for less mileage and go back up that damn hill.

This is Fine comic

Mother f-ing hills!

That photo was only one part of the hill and really doesn’t do it justice for the ridiculousness that it was. We had to stop multiple times because it was *intense*. It turns out that that short 1/2 mile, that I didn’t think would be that bad, was equivalent to 25 flights of stairs. This was literally me:

Hot - Key & Peele

It was super challenging but we did it! I think we might even try to do it once a month. What are you doing to treat yourself well?

Aziz Ansari gif

My Story

It’s been a while…

It’s been almost two years since I’ve written here, and to say I’ve been off the wagon would be an understatement. Life happens as it does, and unfortunately I didn’t make eating well and exercising a priority. As a result, I’ve put on about 80 lbs from my lightest, which is a new highest for me. 80lbs extra isn’t good for anyone, especially someone with a 5’3 frame. I know it’s going to be a long road for me because I didn’t put this on overnight but I’ve got to do this now.

I’ve been thinking about the topic of health for a few months now. It began when I started weaning myself off of anti-depressants — with my doctor’s approval of course. I felt that my depression and anxiety was situational and due to college, and I didn’t like the zombie it was turning me into. I’m to the point now where I’m only taking medication once a week. It’s been 3 months and it has been hell getting to this point. When times are bad they get really dark, and I find myself wondering if this was a dumb experiment. Then there are the good days when I feel alive and happy once again.

This week started out with me weighing myself, because I didn’t feel like a sad piece of shit enough. LOL. I had my cry and reached out to a therapist who focuses on depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Cory and I ended up going out for a walk once I felt better. I am so thankful I have a partner I can talk to, and isn’t like Oh, she’s in one of her moods… I’ll let her be until she’s in a better mood.

This week has been a really good week as far as food and exercising. I’m trying my hardest not to jump in completely and become obsessed. I spent Monday putting the food I ate into MyFitnessPal just to see if I still felt anxiety when it came to calorie counting. I set it up so that my goal was to lose .5lb this week. It’s not much but I didn’t want to cut my calories drastically and set myself up for failure. My intent was just to do a couple days this week just to see how it went. One day turned into two, two days turned into the whole week without me realizing it! I was under all but one day this week and I lost a little over 7lbs as of today. I felt full this week and I didn’t feel like I was giving up anything I really wanted. Last night I even had ice cream as a treat. I don’t expect a huge number next week, I may even gain, but I’ve got to continue to try. This week I’ve felt pretty motivated and energetic. The latter is something I’ve not felt in a very long time and definitely motivation to keep going.

Flooded Trail
Thankfully there were paved trails!

I leave you with some inspiration… A few years ago, my friend Tim shared the following video and it has always stuck with me. Ben’s story reminds me of myself and how I first began working on my fitness and it makes me cry every damn time. What you don’t see in this video is he eventually gains 150 lbs back. He has since lost weight, and he’s currently walking across America (L.A. to Boston) and documenting it online. He’s my inspiration!

To find out more about Ben, visit his blog and Instagram: @bendoeslife

Day to Day

The inspiration of tight pants

It’s no secret that I’ve been off the wagon for about a year now. The weight has slowly crept up, and at the time I was dealing with a lot of other emotions, such as anxiety and depression. Needless to say, working out and eating healthy was far from my first priority with school and everything else.

Today as I was getting ready for work, I realized my usual pair of khakis was in the wash and I had to face the truth. I put on a pair of Dickies’ that are a size 18, they weren’t exactly loose when I bought them, and they have zero stretch to them. As I pulled them up to my hips, I realized just how much weight I’ve put back on. I inhaled and sucked in long enough to get them zipped and reluctantly buttoned. I found a loose blouse I could wear so no one could see my body protruding over my pants. At least I hope they couldn’t.

I’ve made a point to not weigh myself recently and I know it’s not good to avoid the scale when you’re not exercising and eating poorly. I know. I should’ve weighed myself when we got back from Europe, because we walked anywhere from 15-23K steps a day even on days we spent the airport. I know I lost some weight on vacation. Even as we were coming back, my thought was: I’ve got a good start, focus on getting over 10-12K steps a day. If I lived in Europe, that wouldn’t be a problem. Living in Kentucky, I can’t get that just by commuting. I actually have to do some work if I want to get the recommended 10K steps.

Sure, I could make more excuses as to why I’ve put on weight or how hard it is to get start over again. It is hard as hell to start over yet again. Unfortunately, my excuses don’t burn any calories. Even if it’s hot out, I have a gym membership that I’m paying for every month; I have workout videos if I don’t feel like driving. I need to own this weight I’ve put on and quit talking about the fact it’s there and do something about it.

I’m not going to make some sort of sweeping declaration like I’m going to do x, y, and z, because I will set myself up for disappointment changing too many things at once. I’m just going to try moving more at the moment to get my body back in the habit. Typically when I exercise, I tend to eat better and eat less bad stuff without even trying. We shall see how this goes…