On Tuesday I went to the gym with the intention of meeting with my trainer but somewhere our lines got crossed and she didn’t have me down. She invited me to join the kickboxing class that was about to start, and despite never attempting kickboxing outside of my Taebo dvds, I really wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. One of the ladies who is also in my sculpting class assured me it wasn’t as bad as our Thursday class. It was as if our trainer heard this because it wasn’t an easy class at all. It was physically demanding but it wasn’t until the very last cool down exercise that I started feeling that familiar lightheaded/nauseous feeling again. I powered through and then took a bit of a breather to cool down. I left sooner than I should’ve and finally had to pull over. I lied there in the car so frustrated. My sister was in town and I finally accepted she would have to take me home. At that moment I wasn’t even feeling sad; I was mad as hell! Why did this keep happening? What was I doing wrong? Anger typically fuels me more than feeling sorry for myself. So that night I ate something light for dinner and went out for a jog near sunset. I burned well over 800 calories from those two activities. Those two experiences were enough to light a fire under me. I need to get my upper body stronger and the only way to do that is to continue on my journey.
Thursday was my last sculpting class and I was a little disappointed when it was over because I wondered what I would do now. This class (and attending that kickboxing class) has pushed me out of my comfort zone. I’ve used equipment in the gym I was too scared to use before — specifically exercise balls. For some reason I had it in my head that I would sit on it and it would burst. I learned that using those balls to do crunches actually feels better on my back than lying on the floor and it’s much easier to remember to breathe on those balls as well. Also, using those training ropes are so much harder than they appear.
I have come so far in the past year and a half. I’ve never stuck with any fitness routine this long. I have been knocked down quite a few times but I keep getting back up and I know there’s a reason for that. I would’ve given up last year if I didn’t truly want this. It may take me years to get my BMI to what is considered a “healthy” range but I will get there.
What sort of positive things happened to you this week or recently that helped you push on through?