Monthly Archives

July 2013

Day to Day

Happy & Proud

This afternoon I met with my trainer and she kicked my butt as she always does. But today was different. I don’t intentionally phone it in when I workout but I know there are times when I could push myself harder. Today I didn’t think any further than what needed to be done with the kettlebells and punching. I felt like this was one of the more memorable workouts where I gave it everything I had. I don’t know why today felt different.

I think back to anything significant that might’ve happened recently… Saturday evening Cory and I were out on a date and he commented he needed to take a picture of me. I see why now. I’m happy. Maybe seeing that photo was motivation. Two years ago, I rarely took photos of myself, and if I did, they were in the most flattering angles possible, which makes it difficult when I want to go back and see how far I’ve come. Two years ago, I wouldn’t have been comfortable wearing the strapless dress I wore this weekend without a cardigan over it. Even if it was 90-degrees out I would’ve worn that cardigan and been miserable.


While my weight isn’t moving as quickly as I want, the changes I’ve made to my lifestyle are better than any number on the scale. I didn’t get to my highest weight overnight, so naturally, it will take a while to get to a “healthy” weight. All of this hard work will be worth it in the end and I will be a better person for it. I am worth it.

I hope all of you know your worth and continue on your journey no matter what obstacles come across your path. You’re worth it!

Day to Day

Comfort Zones : Part 2

On Tuesday I went to the gym with the intention of meeting with my trainer but somewhere our lines got crossed and she didn’t have me down. She invited me to join the kickboxing class that was about to start, and despite never attempting kickboxing outside of my Taebo dvds, I really wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into. One of the ladies who is also in my sculpting class assured me it wasn’t as bad as our Thursday class. It was as if our trainer heard this because it wasn’t an easy class at all. It was physically demanding but it wasn’t until the very last cool down exercise that I started feeling that familiar lightheaded/nauseous feeling again. I powered through and then took a bit of a breather to cool down. I left sooner than I should’ve and finally had to pull over. I lied there in the car so frustrated. My sister was in town and I finally accepted she would have to take me home. At that moment I wasn’t even feeling sad; I was mad as hell! Why did this keep happening? What was I doing wrong? Anger typically fuels me more than feeling sorry for myself. So that night I ate something light for dinner and went out for a jog near sunset. I burned well over 800 calories from those two activities. Those two experiences were enough to light a fire under me. I need to get my upper body stronger and the only way to do that is to continue on my journey.

Thursday was my last sculpting class and I was a little disappointed when it was over because I wondered what I would do now. This class (and attending that kickboxing class) has pushed me out of my comfort zone. I’ve used equipment in the gym I was too scared to use before — specifically exercise balls. For some reason I had it in my head that I would sit on it and it would burst. I learned that using those balls to do crunches actually feels better on my back than lying on the floor and it’s much easier to remember to breathe on those balls as well. Also, using those training ropes are so much harder than they appear.

I have come so far in the past year and a half. I’ve never stuck with any fitness routine this long. I have been knocked down quite a few times but I keep getting back up and I know there’s a reason for that. I would’ve given up last year if I didn’t truly want this. It may take me years to get my BMI to what is considered a “healthy” range but I will get there.

What sort of positive things happened to you this week or recently that helped you push on through?

Day to Day

Comfort zones

I think every now and then we need to be knocked down a notch or two whether it’s from a fitness standpoint or life in general. It helps us to not be complacent and reevaluate goals.

Now that my energy levels feel like they’re getting better; at least my desire to stay in bed until noon has diminished, I’ve begun exercising more. I signed up for a personal trainer at my gym that I’ll meet with twice a month, and I also signed up for small group class themed around sculpting and kettlebells that meets weekly for the next three weeks.

I had a day before the class began to think about how badass* (*please keep reading I’m not that egotistical!) I was for signing up for personal training and an hour-long class. The bad ass feeling completely went away 5-10 minutes into the class. You know, 10 lbs don’t seem like much to be lifting but it tends to sting a bit when you do it 100 times. Not to mention, I’ve been doing very little strength training the past few months. I guess I thought it’d be like riding a bike and I’d magically be back to where I was. The entire time I kept thinking, why am I sweating so much?! I felt fine other than being hot and then a sudden faint feeling hit me about 35 minutes in as I finished doing lunges. I told the instructor I needed to stop for a minute and I’d be back. I ran off to the shower room and sat there with my head between my legs trying not to move so I could regain my composure and so I wouldn’t throw up. Unfortunately, there wasn’t really anywhere I could throw up so that wasn’t an option.

It took me about 10 minutes to get back up and head back to my group. I was met by one of the owner’s and she told me to lie down and she’d get an ice pack. I started feeling better a few minutes later and the instructor told me I could join in for the cooldown if I wanted. I did that and as soon as the class was over I had to run back to the shower room. My clothes were soaked and I needed cold water on me. The thing with being lightheaded is even the simplest tasks, like taking off clothes are impossible. I momentarily thought about sacrificing my Fitbit and heart rate monitor just so I could get into the shower. Thankfully, I didn’t and just sat there. Plus, all of these scenarios went through my head of, if I do get my clothes off, and actually need some sort of medical help, this will be incredibly embarrassing. Needless to say, I opted to just sit in my wet clothes until the feeling subsided.

I felt better eventually, changed my clothes, and made it back to my car. I didn’t feel embarrassed by the situation until I was driving away from the gym. That’s when tears began to well up in my eyes because of events that just transpired and also because it’s realizing you’re not good at something. I had a moment to feel sorry for myself but then I realized I stepped out of my comfort zone. I did things I hadn’t done before. I did burpees and didn’t die for god’s sake! Those are good things. Yes, strength training is not something I’ve been doing consistently lately, and never for that long, and so it’s to be expected that I would suck.

A few years ago, I took a boot camp class at this same gym and had a similar experience, and unfortunately never went back to that class. At that time, I might’ve gone to the gym once a week if I was lucky, so it’s no wonder I felt lightheaded. I made up all sorts of excuses as to why I wasn’t going to go back to that class. The truth was I was a coward and it was easier to be complacent than to actually put forth the time and effort to change something. With this most recent experience, instead of running away, I see the areas that need work. I can’t expect to be good at something without practicing it a lot. I very well may get lightheaded again at the next class but things won’t change unless I change.

What have you done to step out of your comfort zone?