The inspiration of tight pants

It’s no secret that I’ve been off the wagon for about a year now. The weight has slowly crept up, and at the time I was dealing with a lot of other emotions, such as anxiety and depression. Needless to say, working out and eating healthy was far from my first priority with school and everything else.

Today as I was getting ready for work, I realized my usual pair of khakis was in the wash and I had to face the truth. I put on a pair of Dickies’ that are a size 18, they weren’t exactly loose when I bought them, and they have zero stretch to them. As I pulled them up to my hips, I realized just how much weight I’ve put back on. I inhaled and sucked in long enough to get them zipped and reluctantly buttoned. I found a loose blouse I could wear so no one could see my body protruding over my pants. At least I hope they couldn’t.

I’ve made a point to not weigh myself recently and I know it’s not good to avoid the scale when you’re not exercising and eating poorly. I know. I should’ve weighed myself when we got back from Europe, because we walked anywhere from 15-23K steps a day even on days we spent the airport. I know I lost some weight on vacation. Even as we were coming back, my thought was: I’ve got a good start, focus on getting over 10-12K steps a day. If I lived in Europe, that wouldn’t be a problem. Living in Kentucky, I can’t get that just by commuting. I actually have to do some work if I want to get the recommended 10K steps.

Sure, I could make more excuses as to why I’ve put on weight or how hard it is to get start over again. It is hard as hell to start over yet again. Unfortunately, my excuses don’t burn any calories. Even if it’s hot out, I have a gym membership that I’m paying for every month; I have workout videos if I don’t feel like driving. I need to own this weight I’ve put on and quit talking about the fact it’s there and do something about it.

I’m not going to make some sort of sweeping declaration like I’m going to do x, y, and z, because I will set myself up for disappointment changing too many things at once. I’m just going to try moving more at the moment to get my body back in the habit. Typically when I exercise, I tend to eat better and eat less bad stuff without even trying. We shall see how this goes…


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We can do better

Cory and I celebrated our two year anniversary this past weekend and it has me thinking about goals. Both of us know we have put on weight since we started dating and neither of us are thrilled about it. We both can do better…

We went to Indianapolis on Memorial Day and we had a stranger take our photo in front of the LOVE sculpture at the Indianapolis Museum of Art. I didn’t look at the photos at the time, in fact, it wasn’t until the following day that I looked at them. I’m realizing I’ve been avoiding any type of full length mirror since gaining weight. I guess my justification is if I can’t see it, it didn’t happen. Boy, was I in for a shock when I saw those photos! I promised myself I’d never let myself get back to that unhappy 240 pound girl, and I’m almost back there. Granted, I’m not that unhappy, well until I saw those photos. I did let myself get back there.

I’m not really ready to publish my goals or that photo until I’ve solidified what I’ll be doing. It always seems like I have these grand plans and no follow through on them. I think I try to do too much all at once and then when it doesn’t work I give up instead of altering the plan. I do know I want to blog more. I do miss it and it was a way for me to stay on the right path. If I had a bad week, I wrote about it, and moved on. It kept me honest which is what I need.